There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.
When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'."
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take ****** from anybody.
Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.
Chuck Norris can turn normal water into holy water by beating the hell out of it with his fists.
Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.
Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chuck Norris. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.
In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually Email a roundhouse kick.
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
4 out of 5 doctors agree: They don't wan't to meet Chuck Norris in a dark alley when he is in a bad mood. The fifth doctor has nothing to live for.
vjerojatno ste vec vidjeli neke od ovih factsa,ali vecina su nove za mene :lol:
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
